yes is a world
& in this world of yes live
I memorised these lines from e.e. cummings poem many years ago, as a lyrical spell to ward against my rather self-destructive habit of fear-based procrastination. It hasn’t helped much, I’ve been doing it more than ever lately (but I’ll suck! They’ll hate me! And my mother dresses me funny!) so I made a large floral ‘yes’ for the wall above my office desk to boost the effects.
Sometimes my misspent youth as a craft blogger comes in very handy.
It’s not yes to all the things, that would be a life spent as a foolish doormat, no thank you very much. It is a yes to doing the things I value, even if I’ll suck and they’ll hate me and my mother dresses me funny.
It was also, you’ll notice, another pretty way to waste even more time…
I had an idea on self-portraits. One of the aspects of the lived experience of facial disfigurement that I am interested in investigating is the ‘outside’ view, that of the person doing the looking as opposed to the person being looked at. I am thinking a series of performance portraits where I am the stand-in for all those looking, and portraying the different personas of the same from the point of view of how the participants feel being looked at. Does that make sense outside my head? I think it could be quite a powerful set of portraits, particularly when seen in contrast to the portraits of those being looked at.
(Not a self-portrait like that one, for what it’s worth.)
My friend Janet sent me this badge when the results for my Master’s thesis came though. I picked it up again the day I got word that I had been granted a doctoral scholarship. I’ve never actually worn it, but I do like to stare wistfully.
When Kerry and Veronica advised doing my Ph.D. via published articles instead of a thesis proper, I believed them that it was (is) the best way to do it if I want an academic career. I was also a little disappointed. Disappointed because I had always wanted to write a non-academic book as part of the research product, and this seemed to exclude that, or make it more difficult. Perhaps it doesn’t, perhaps I have no idea what I’m talking about, perhaps Elvis still lives. But after the Master’s thesis was rejected for publication I thought that there are still some useful ideas in there that I would like to share, most particularly some ideas around the margins of freedom, or the small freedoms as I have called them. There’s a lot more there than I was able to go into with the Master’s thesis, and as an idea it has never really left me. So, I’m going to write that book anyway (alongside PhD’ing and marking and parenting and arting and photographing and walking giant dog), and I will blog the progress here alongside the PhD progress, because it’s all related. All I’ve ever wanted to do is find out about interesting things and then tell about them.
Yes is a world.